And you thought J. Peterman was fraught with philiosphical problems; What are pants!? might possibly earn you a college credit. So sink back in your armchair and ponder the eternal question, as posed in the table of contents: "Why? Pants!"

(all quotes are accompanied by bare human body parts including the buttocks and breast. Actually, pretty much solely the buttocks and breast.)

The classic syllogism:

"200,000 years ago women dried animal skins and sewed together underwear. 200,000 years later women prepared from textile materials clean and beautiful underwear. The important thing has not changed."

"The roots of creation are in eroticism. The essence of eroticism is the body. In short, Underwear is a 'Cover of Creation power' made from cotton."

Paradox:

"Paradox, —a well built body is a good factor to show underwear."

Truism:

"Underwear is underwear."

Epigrams:

When you don't like all that underwear in your wardrobe, it is a signal you have fallen in love. Underwear is a barrier between pleasure and trouble.