They're young. They're pale. They're hip. Indulge yourself in the darkest, most velvet-drenched, languid talk show of the 1990s. Starring Mistress Belladonna and her spankable second banana, Severin. Watch as they discuss pressing goth issues of the day, such as: How little can you eat and still have the strength to hail a cab? Is opium better than absinthe? Is crank a food group? Plus practical tips, such as how to create a white makeup base with common household items such as Bisquick and laundry bluing.

illustration by Mike Gorman