by Gareth Branwyn


I once had a friend who was a sex therapist. Without betraying professional confidences, she used to tell incredible stories about some of the wilder sexual proclivities she had bumped into. Working in the Washington, D.C., area, she'd counseled many government and corporate bigwigs. So, after a rough day shuckin' and jivin' the little people, how do these power brokers unwind?

Man, how much wine cooler do you think you could fit into that bottle? Lots of diaper changes for the baby-sitter. Baby could get into lots of trouble.
Look at all that stuff you get for only 200 bucks! Whaddya think...the pink or the blue?

By becoming little people themselves. Suiting up in jumbo rubber pants and frilly baby bonnets, they goo-goo ga-ga around on all-fours while mistresses and hookers whack their naughty power-mongering bottoms. Trying to visualize this charming scene, one of the first things that comes to mind is: "Where do they get all the adult-sized baby stuff?"

The answer, it turns out, is the Adult Baby Catalog. This is where you can satisfy all of your infantile fashion needs. You can get adult-sized baby hats, dresses, shoes, bottles, pacifiers, and schoolgirl uniforms.


Now that this mystery is solved, I'm still trying to figure out where the burrowing fetishists go for their toys. What is a burrowing fetish? you ask. You don't want to know.</end>

Look, transvestites are big into baby dress up, too. Who knew?
The Adult Baby Catalog is available for $22.50 (baby better have a good job) from:

Atomic Books,
229 West Read St.,
Baltimore, MD 21201,
(410) 728-5490.
Up Talk!