lines you'll never hear on
Star Trek: The Next Generation

  1. Worf: Klingons do not play tiddlywinks!

  2. Picard: It's too bad we don't live in an enlightened, civilized era like they had in the twentieth century.

  3. Feordi: Did you hear Wesley almost got kicked out of the academy again? They caught him smoking pot!

    Data: (looks puzzled) Pot? (brightens) Ah. Marijuana - a narcotic obtained from the hemp plant. Cannabis. Weed. Mary Jane. Grass. Reefer. Panama red...

  4. Troi (to someone she is counseling): You've obviously mistaken me for someone who cares! Now get out!

  5. Worf: Ouch! I got a paper cut!

  6. A Starfleet admiral: Don't worry about it, Picard, there's plenty of other ships in your quadrant.

  7. Riker: Not tonight - I have a headache.

  8. Worf: Do we have to beam down right now? The Smurfs are on subspace TV!

  9. Geordi: We've modified the warp coils by reversing the polarity of the inverse geometric phase integrator and adding a broad-band neutrino flux generator to the hyper-magnetic field controls.

    Riker: What will that do?

    Geordi: Not a damn thing, but it sure as hell sounds impressive!

  10. Picard: Oh, screw the hailing frequencies. Fire all phasers!

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