$38,000 would buy:

• 1 year and one month of full-time work at my current job (ed note: not STIM)
  
  
• 6 top-of-the-line notebook computers
  
  
• 21% of the purchase price of an East Village co-op apartment.
  
  
• a healthy downpayment on a home in California
  
  
• 3.7 years of rent at my current apartment
  
  
• 4,750 drunken/lazy cab rides home to Brooklyn from Manhattan
  
  
• 19 used pick-up trucks
  
  
• 38 years of auto insurance
  
  
• 25,333 subway rides
  
  
• 358,491 local phone calls
  
  
• 7,600 20-minute long distance phone calls
  
  
• 158 years of online service