I could look better.
$38,000 would buy:

• 63 years of membership at a very nice gym
  
  
• 2,714 MAC lipsticks
  
  
• 3,166 Hard Candy nail polishes
  
  
• 10 liposuction surgeries
  
  
• 4,750 applications of hair bleach and toner
  
  
• 190 pairs of leather pants
  
  
• 4,750 cute thrift store dresses
  
  
• 2,714 pairs of fancy sexy underwear