Airplane Tickets for Hairy People

Re-Thinking the Hairy Women's Movement

by Marcelle Karp

Hair to Stay

Stop shaving, sistah! After years of mocking our European friends for their au natural armpits, some American women are ready to wear that most PC of all fur coats, the one on their own bodies! Marcelle Karp ponders.

I must admit I felt ambivalent about this assignment. Hairy Women's movement? I have devoted as lifetime to depilation, using various methods for each body area (pluck the eyebrows, wax the lip, shave the pits, etc.). I picked up a copy of the zine Hair To Stay and read their mission statement:

Hair To Stay will publish photos of hairy women. Period. Fat, thin, ugly, attractive, young old, it doesn't matter. Hair is what matters. If all you want is Barbie doll types, try another publication.

Now this my dear friend, hits my feminist girl spot big time. Real chicks. Pam Winter is a savvy business woman, and she is a woman with vision. Pam runs photo essays that run the gamut of armpit shots to hardcore pussy shots, photos that border the tenuous line of the erotic and pornographic.

Hair To Stay publishes erotica, written mostly by men, about their fantasies/real life experiences with hirsute women, undoubtedly to make the hirsute chicks out here know that guys dig bushy forearms. Winter's intent is to create a forum where those who have always felt alienated and alone and unloved can find a community of self love and support. As someone who has had her own body images to overcome, I can get behind this, but I found the Hair To Stay message to be, well a little humorless. Below, I submit my own reactions to the Hairy Women's Movement, and a few calls to action for my furry female friends.

Women who are hirsute should pose like lame Hustler models! As you sit there flicking at your body parts, you'll be as sexy as Patsy & Edina!

Treasure trails, hairy armpits, astro-turfy legs are cool! Place ribbons on them, adorn the little curlicues with the most precious of girlie culture's accessories!

The hirsute redefine the meaning of "My Bush". It's more like, "My Jungle, My Forest, My Thick Patch of a Hairy Maw". Whatever you do, don't drop anything in there, it will surely be lost forever!

Be careful when operating heavy machinery. Don't let stray strands fall haphazardly where they don't belong.

Don't try to compare who's got more hair. For instance, if you try to count all the individual hairs on the truly hirsute, you're in for the rest of the year.

Hirsute means hair and Hairy means hairy! Hairy like a guys legs, hairy like a simian, hairy like Frank Zappa. You get hairy bush, hairy ass, hairy inner thighs, hair back, even hairy nipples if you're lucky. Don't wince, nuzzle!

Sporting a mustache? Feh! Check out how much fun Dali had with his, Freda Kahlo used it to her somber advantage and now Milk ads put some white-out over non hirsute types and call that a Milk-stache! Everyone's sporting shadow on the upper lip, so don't employ razor burn, dye it fruit flavored colors, like blue or orange!

Remember, stupid people associate hair with machoness. If some turd is harassing you, pretend to be Maggi Cheong and threaten you gonna whap some ass. They'll go running with their tail between their legs.

When people refer to you as Magilla Gorilla, count to 64 and remember how popular he was! NOW, go kick some ass.

In closing, I remind you that this movement is about acceptance. On the hirsute homegirl, there is hair everywhere, just like on a man's body. And by all means, I am not turned off by the hair on a man's butt—it's a natural body function, to grow hair. Ergo, I should not be turned off by the body beautiful of this womanly creature. Nor should you.   </end>